Today I will enlighten you with a few kind words of possibly the greatest director in the world, Uwe Boll. Now you may be asking yourself "WTF WHOS UWE BOLL LOL?", thats why I am here to tell you.
This is Uwe Boll.
Why, you might ask, is this handsome man directing films instead of modeling for Calvin Klein? The Simple Answer to that is a wonderful loophole in the German Tax System. Wikipedia puts it best:
Boll is able to acquire funding thanks to German tax laws that reward investments in film. The law allows investors in German-owned films to write off 100% of their investment as a tax deduction; it also allows them to invest borrowed money and write off any fees associated with the loan. The investor is then only required to pay taxes on the profits made by the movie; if the movie loses money, the investor gets a tax writeoff.
Boll uses the German taxpayers dollars to fund his wonderful movies, which are all based off of video games by the way. Now the country of Germany has gotten smart and removed this funding, but Boll continues strong making movies.
Now what makes his movies totally awesome you might ask? You look no further than this terribly badass montage from his first fantastic movie, House of the Dead.
Amazing. Not since Romero's Night of The Living Dead has fighting zombies been so....breathtaking.
His movies range in content from a vampire princess getting revenge on her father in Bloodrayne, to archeologists unearthing deadly secrets in a cave in Alone in the Dark. While they are all so different from one another, you can be sure when viewing them they have that magical Uwe Boll touch.
Naturally, because his films are beyond human comprehension in terms of quality, he has a lot of critics. But, as the photo above illustrates, Uwe Boll is the Samuel L. Jackson of directing in terms of personality. He doesn't take no guff from no one, and fiercly fights back his (sadly, mostly) negative critics. Literally. No, I'm serious. He challenged 4 critics to a boxing match in what was known as "Raging Boll", a cute little homage to the Scorsese classic. He was very graceful in boxing his opponents, who had no boxing experience, and really showed them whos boss.
So there ya have it folks. Now you are in agreeance with me that Uwe Boll is the greatest film director alive, outclassing other greats such as Paul W.S. Anderson and Michael Bay, he is truly in a league of his own. I encourage you to check out all of his movies as after watching them you will never look at other movies the same again, as they all pale in comparison to his masterpieces.
1 comment:
That zombie clip was amazing. My only problem with it: I thought that the only way to kill a zombie was to separate the brain from the body (whether that mean decapitation, shooting the brains out, etc.).
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